· I used to color my hair for fun, oh, maybe twice a year or so. Then I took to putting the $7.98 box of hair color purchase into my quarterly budget because I’d notice a stray gray here and there. Now, according to my calendar calculations, I am going to the professionals every four weeks because my temples glimmer with silver that are too noticeable to ignore.
· The McDonald’s cashiers rarely question my senior coffee claim anymore.
· I get words and names mixed up. I’m calling one of my dogs by the name of a pet that died eight years ago. When I make appointments, March is May or April is August and I don’t know the difference until someone points it out to me.
· “You’ve told me that story already,” is mentioned to me on a regular basis.
· My son-in-law claims he was “only joking” when he asked his wife “where the old lady is.”
· I pass gas* when just walking sometimes, never knowing when the humiliating sound will occur. (*Okay, I also have the old-lady prude thing going on because I had to come back and change the "f" word that refers to passing gas because I couldn't stop thinking about it and being embarassed that I'd used it here for all the world to see!)
· Speaking of humiliating sounds, I grunt and groan when getting up off the couch or bending down to pick up something off the floor.
· My best friend said, “Yeah, right!” when I said let’s pretend that the babies we were each carrying were our own. She didn’t think it was a believable prank anymore.
· No matter how hot it is I have to wear shirts with sleeves, especially in my college class because the arm flaps are distracting to my students.
· Shorts, cropped pants and bathing suits are no longer an option.
· My hairdresser insists on giving me bangs to cover up the forehead wrinkles.
· Getting eight-hours of sleep is a nostalgic memory.
· I don’t care anymore that my husband sees my full-body Spanx in the laundry, or on my body, for that matter.
· I shun the camera because I can’t figure out “my good side” anymore.
And, I remind myself that someday in the future I will look back at this time and long for how good I looked at 53!