Monday, November 29, 2010

What Not To Wear No Matter What the Ads Say!

"You look so hot."

As I stood before my husband of twenty-plus years, I waited with anticipation for him to say those words.  I was standing before him in my new "Not Your Daughter's Jeans," the jeans I had contemplated buying for so long and finally splurged on, paying a whopping $100.00 for.  The sales lady did a great job, as did the manufacturer of the jeans; I fit comfortably into a whole size smaller than what I usually wear.  I've been wearing these jeans proudly for two weeks, wearing them in place of all others because I knew how they flattered me, held in my curves and gave me the confidence to accept my 53-year-old, middle-aged spreading body. "I look hot!" and I strutted like I knew it!

So, after a trip to the mall where my husband pecked me on the lips - in public! - something he hasn't done in ages, I just knew it was because of my jeans and the body they gave me. 

So, when he asked, "Where did you get those jeans?" I couldn't wait to gush after he told me just how good I looked. 

Then, he said, "They don't flatter you at all." 

He apologized for having to tell me, told me my figure is so much better than what the jeans do for it and added, "YOUR HIPS STICK OUT AND WHEN I WALKED BEHIND YOU YOUR BUTT LOOKED HUGE!"

I was mortified, truly mortified and all the pep talks I've been giving myself to accept myself just the way I am went right out the window.

I laughed it off, told him they were supposed to be the best fit, marketed to women like me, and of course I never mentioned the price I'd paid for them because he wouldn't believe it.  I am the ultimate thrift store shopper, I never, ever, ever pay regular price for clothes, except this time I paid a hundred dollars for a pair of jeans that prompted my usually always complimentary husband to tell me I looked fat! 

I don't care if I've washed the jeans a couple of times, cripe I've worn them so often I've had to, but that store is getting their jeans back and I'm taking my $100.00 and going to Target and buying five pairs of the men's Wranglers for twenty-bucks I've been wearing for years. 

Buyer Beware!  Take a girlfriend or a husband with you when you shop so you can get the truth when you try on clothes and they will be sure to tell you "WHAT NOT TO WEAR!"


Vegas Linda Lou said...

Great post, but no, no, I beg of you... No men's Wranglers! I'm calling your daughter right now to arrange an intervention.

Anonymous said...

Been there, done that! I'm still laughing...