Sharing my experiences and stories about the people who I have encountered and the life lessons I've learned along the way.
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Judge Not Others, If You Can Help It
Like all young people on the verge of adulthood, I questioned the teachings I received from authority figures, the adults in my life responsible for my upbringing and education.
I went through the normal transition of discovering for myself my views on things that would transform me into the woman I would become. I often wonder just how and why I came to the various ideas and viewpoints that I am comfortable with, or at times passionate about. What I believe in comes to me from my fifty-years of experience, contemplation, peer influence, and empathy for others. My opinions and views are my own and my right as they are for each and every one of us humans.
Speaking my mind or sharing my opinions is something I have never been very comfortable with.
It is my opinion, and here I am contradicting the last sentence, that everyone has a right to their opinions and no one has the right to judge or condemn others for their personal beliefs. That is why I do not espouse on religion, politics, or lifestyle. To each his own. Unfortunately, not everyone is of the same mind. It is their strong belief that they must convince anyone who does not live according to their morals and values to change their ways.
I have learned over the course of my years that keeping quiet might prevent confrontation, but speaking up is necessary at times. I have met that challenge over the years and although I have lost some people who cannot accept me as I am and disappointed others, I have no regrets about being true to my convictions.
By the same token, I have found that I have wanted to convince others to do it “my way.” Especially when it came to my children, I would tell them how things should be done, share with them my ideas about things with the hope they would follow suit, which of course did not happen. They, too, had to go through their transitory period and eventually come to their own conclusions. I admit there were times I pushed my ideas hard, especially when I believed I could save them from eventual heartache or worse, a major mistake. Through experience I have found that while I have some influence resulting in a like-mind, it didn’t happen because I forced my beliefs on them; rather it was by living my life based on my beliefs so that I became a model to my children and others. From that they picked up from me what would work for them and created their own ideas, values, and convictions. That is at it should be.