Wednesday, February 24, 2010

It's Time

I began this blog nearly a year ago at the urging of a friend, a fellow writer who believes I have a story to tell. Interspersed with amusing anecdotes of everyday living, I have shared some of the sad events that have shaped my life. Those are the posts that have inspired me the most and have generated the most heartfelt responses from those that follow my blog or happen to run across it.

Certain events have occurred over the past year or so that have tried my very sanity. While I am trying to live a normal, uneventful life filled with work, home and husband, people I love dearly who are in crisis and are suffering are causing me to desperately seek ways to help them, save, them, fix them, love them enough so that their pain goes away. I do not know where my need to be the resucer comes from; I only know that I cannot turn away from them. So their pain is my pain. In order to save myself I hold a belief that I need to save them.

Therapists, wise friends and family members tell me that it's not my problem. They say this not out of lack of compassion for those who I am worried over; they are trying to help me because they are worried about me. I love them all for that concern. But, I cannot turn away from those I love. I know I can't "fix" their problems, undo choices they make for their own life, but I have one weapon in my arsenal that I truly believe can help. I can write.

Writing has healed more deep wounds than I can ever recount. One thing I do know is that telling the truth of things, for me through writing, that pain can be worked through. So, I am going to write my story from beginning to present day and in my heart I know that I can shed light on the demons that have haunted me and that I know have caused indirect destruction to those who are also victims of a tainted history.

I don't know whether I will post entries here or publish in a more traditional way, but my book is now being written. This is something that has been a long time coming and I believe I am now ready to meet the challenge. One thing I can say for sure, I am feeling lighter and free of some of my burden already.

5 comments:

L.T. Elliot said...

Congratualations! I'm so glad you've found the avenue that will provide both a purge of all that you're going through and a healing of those wounds. I feel lucky to be along for your journey.

domnic said...

Dear Sister,Lisa--from, your big brother, Dominic"michael",
Whew!! Like I said when I first started reading your blogs, you are in the mode of discover. Discovering who you are, how this ordeal came to be so much a part of your present. However, on the other end of the stick is the three brothers who are seeing their memories brought back to "LIFE"!!! What more can I say?
You did'nt know your parents, but the three of us, even after 52yrs. of absence, can once again see into a dark rm. You turned the light on and, even though I feel uncomfortable with what might be obtained from peeking into such a locked area after this long, my brain has always been on the defense for things to come!!

Anonymous said...

I wish you luck, Lisa, as you continue on your journey of self-discovery.

Pain, put to paper, will ultimately lead to freedom of the soul.

Again, good luck.

Donna B said...

I am sending you warm hugs until I give you one in person tomorrow. GO FOR IT. I can so relate to what you said in your post...May your inner light shine upon the pages to reveal what you need to unload.

ajgallion said...

I am a firm believer that writing allows the pain to morph into strength -- obviously, if one is writing for the right intentions, then the magic WILL happen. Life can be so very full that the only place to store some of it is on paper. :)