No post has been harder for me to write. I begin with a few sentences, then highlight and discard what I've written.
October 26th is the anniversary of my father's suicide. Once that date passes each year I am free to continue my life without the albatross that the month of October is for me.
I tried and tried to write something to commemorate my father: his memory, the feelings I have about losing him, his role in the destruction of our family, the legacy of grief and anguish his actions created. I tried to write about the complicated emotions I feel for him: a need to forgive, my search for father figures, the draw I have to my Italian heritage - but the words did not flow. I suspect that is due to all the unresolved issues I still harbor for the man who should have been the most important male influence in my life.
I guess I still have a lot of work to do with regard to my father. While I am adressing that, I will share a photo montage of his short life.
Joe (on the right) and his younger brother Dick, 1922
Courtship days with his future wife, Pat Oberlander